Post Natal Blues?

I woke up at 5.30 am this morning. After refreshing myself, went straight to the kitchen and got my sterilized breast pump kit.

Made myself comfortable in the living room and start pumping my left breast. I used the manual pump for 1-3 minutes to encourage the “let-down” reflex @ milk to be ejected.

The Avent Isis IQ Uno manual pump is great but I’m still not use to it. It’s faster to use the electric pump.

Anyway, made a mental note to practise using the manual pump as I might be using it after I’m back at work. There is no special room for mothers to express breastmilk during office hours.

Expressing in the toilet is absolutely a no! So, I have only two choices – the prayer room or in my car. Both places don’t have a plug point. Hmmm…..

I’m quite happy with my pumping session this morning. Able to express 100 ml (3.5 oz) from both breasts in 45 minutes!

As usual, hubby delivered my freshly-pumped milk to my baby at the Selangor Medical Center.

Ooohh… I miss my baby so very MUCH!

It has been 7 days since she was admitted into the NICU.

The jaundice has gone but Dr Ling, her paed is still monitoring her milk intake through the tube. He has increased her feeding from 10 ml to 15 ml.

Alhamdulillah, she is tolerating the feeding so well. No more regurgitation or vomitting the milk through her mouth.

My hubby said they will move her out from the incubator to a normal cot soon.

I just want my baby to get better as soon as possible and COME BACK to me. 7 days is a very long time!

I’m alone in my little cottage. My mother has gone back to Terengganu because her eldest grand-daughter (my niece) is coming to her birthplace (my village). Kak Long has just finished her matriculation courses and want to spend some times with my cousin, Nurul who was born just a few days after her.

Feeling so empty inside. I tried to fill-up the time by rearranging the uploaded photos of my baby. And, make some scrapbooks using the ScrapBookFlair program.

The big giraffe clock showed 9.15am.

The empty feeling inside was getting stronger. Missing my baby so much and suddenly I can’t control my emotion.

I cried and cried and cried.

Tears flowing to my cheek down to my chest. I was sobbing like crazy for 2 minutes!

Then, it stopped. And, I felt so relieved inside. The empty feeling was gone.

I think I was having a brief post-natal depression (PND).

Thank God, it was just a mild one.

You see, it’s quite challenging to go through the confinement period alone. Making it worst, my baby is not by my side.

I’ve no one to talk to. And, I can’t update my blog or surf the net as I’ve cancelled the Maxis Broadband subscription due to the slow coverage.

Quickly, I put on the pilis on my forehead and the param on my limbs. And, I felt so good.

My hubby called just now from SMC. My baby is getting better!!

Her milk intake has increased to 20 ml per feed. She’ll be feed through bottle soon.

That’s great because she has not been sucking for 7 days. And, her lips has become dried and chapped. Hopefully, her cute lips will be moisturised again.

I hope she will not forget how to suck.

If everything is fine, Dr Ling said she can be discharged this Friday.

Alhamdulillah!!