12/12/2008 – Friday
First visit to Pusrawi Kota Damansara to confirm my pregnancy. I already done a few UPT tests at home. Now, I just want a gynae to confirm it by an ultrasound.
According to the gynae, I was 11 weeks pregnant. Ultrasound showed an empty sack. There’s no heartbeat. And, the sack measured 6 weeks only. Oh.. was my last menstruation date wrong? Was it too early to see a heartbeat?
The gynae asked to come again in 3 weeks.
13/12/2008 – Saturday
There was a little blood when I wiped. And, the color was brown. Old blood.
And, a sudden thought that I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. The thought made my heart leaps.
14/12/2008 – Sunday
I still had a little bleeding. Not much. Just like the last few days of a period. Brownish. And, only need a panty liner.
I was feeling uneasy about the bleeding. So, we went to Hospital Sungai Buloh emergency unit that night. I have my records there so the process was quick.
A gynae examined me. She said the same thing about the sack. There was no heartbeat. It’s empty.
And, she said I already miscarried. It is called a “missed miscarriage“.
Meaning, the foetus didn’t develop further after week 6. But, my body thought I was still pregnant. Thus, it didn’t end the pregnancy naturally.
The gynae gave me a week. To see whether I’ll have a natural miscarriage. Else, I’ll need a D&C (dilation & curettage).
16/12/2008 – Tuesday
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That night, I started having contractions. Only 2-4 minutes apart. And, getting stronger.
The contractions started from my front to my lower back.
Just like giving birth!
I was fighting the pains while singing a lullaby to baby Izzah.
And, after Izzah slept… it happened. An extremely strong contraction and a heavy bleeding. With really big clots.
Each time a contraction ended, I bleed like crazy.
And, I know I have lost my baby in my tummy.
The contractions were so strong that I need to take painkillers to sleep.
17/12/2008 – Wednesday
I only slept for 3 hours when I was woken up again by strong contractions. And, I leaked.
The 35cm Sofy Body Fit pad was heavily soaked with blood.
My husband kept on asking whether I want to go to the hospital.
But, I said I’ll bear it until morning. I didn’t want to disturb baby Izzah’s sleep. If we go to the hospital at the wee hours, the baby must go with us. She would get cranky then.
So, I fighted my pain until 7 am.
Luckily, I still remember the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques that I learned before Izzah was born. It helps a lot to ease the pain.
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After sending baby Izzah to the day-care, we headed to Hospital Sungai Buloh.
And, surprisingly the sack is still there despite the heavy bleeding.
The gynae asked whether I’m sure with my last date of menstruation. I was so sure.
He then insert a speculum to check my cervic. Alas.. the sack was out. So, the miscarriage was completed. No D&C was needed.
I was asked to wait in the Dewan Bersalin for 4 hours before I could go home.
I was feeling extremely dizzy. Perhaps, due to the heavy loss of blood.
After 4 hours, another gynae checked on me.
And, he said the POC (product of conception) was still there!
I was immediately warded for them to clean the remaining tissue in my uterus.
Oh.. I hate of being an hospital patient. I hate the process of inserting a needle for an IV drip on my vein. It hurts so much!
And the thought of being wheeled into an extremely cold operation room make me shivered.
An ERPOC (not D&C) was scheduled for me the next morning. This procedure uses vacuum to clean my womb while D&C uses a scrapper.
That explained why they say D&C is painful. Imagine somebody scrapping (kikis) your womb lining with an instrument. Oewww.
I couldn’t sleep that night.
18/12/2008 – Thursday
I was asked to changed into a white gown for operation.
And, a gynae had a final check on me before the ERPOC.
Guess what? She said I had a complete miscarriage. No need for ERPOC. And, I can go home!
I was discharged in the afternoon.
And, given 9 days MC.
Thanks to everyone who has left the thoughtful comments and sms’s. We will definitely try again!
Oh yes.. who said I can’t conceive without fertility treatments? This short pregnancy proved that miracle can happens!
be strong dear. Insyaallah ada rezeki izzah akan ada adik juga soon.
when I read ur story, i can feel that i’m at ur place…goin’ thru all the situations..arghhh…
anyway, do take care sis…baby izzah needs u
my belated condolences to you…
insyAllah…ada rezeki nnt. 🙂